Monday, May 23, 2011

I'm a Monster...Rawr

WARNING: Untranslated nerdspeak ahead.


As LOML could tell you (sadly shaking his head at my eccentricities), I like playing monstrous, odd, or just plain weird characters when I play roleplaying games. I also lean towards characters that don't depend on dice to do things during combat as my luck seems to roll towards the low end of the scale. Probably the weirdest character I managed to play was a Dracotaur sorcerer in a D&D 3.5 game...said sorcerer was male, shamelessly hit on the half-black-dragon female in the game, and had a consort who was half fae, half centaur, and they made little mutant faedracotaur babies.

Close runner up is probably the Dhamphyr changeling cleric of the Raven Queen I played in my last 4.0 game...

And then there was the Goliath bard...

I have an affinity for the unexpected, which probably explains why I like Terry Pratchett so much--the world suddenly looks fresh, and curious, and exciting if you take the absolute value of something and then flip it. I have all the sophistication of a lead brick being dropped from a great height, and deeply involved layers of intrigue make me want to grab a hefty-sized weapon to hack through the layers of BS...

It might be due to my upbringing, but I really prefer the world to exist in clear-drawn lines of good and evil, right and wrong, This-Person-Deserves-an-Ass-Whipping and This-Person-Does-Not-Deserve-an-Ass-Whipping. Even after growing up and finding out that most people didn't even try to be the person they wanted other people to think they were, I still try to live a life as an open book. Admittedly, you might have to turn several pages and the font's really big and I tend to snap on your fingers if you spill stuff on me...

Who am I kidding? I highly suspect everyone wants to think they are special in some way so they don't have to face the fact they are horribly ordinary, and I suspect myself of being the same way. And then I am faced with a awesome example of human stupidity, and I hope to God I'm not that idiotic. I feel like an alien when I make small talk to people and find that those people seem more at their ease around me because I did so. Some days when I was still working in the school library a little switch would turn on/off in my head and suddenly every other person looked alien/skeletal/put together weirdly and I have to concentrate so that spoken English doesn't devolve into a string of random syllables.

Has the How to be Human for Dummies book been written yet?

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