Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Why Losing at Games Makes Me Sad

So over the past week I've been playing League of Legends a fair bit, which is to say, I've actually been spending more time on it than I have on Runescape.

I have spent most of my life laboring under the misapprehension that the more time you spend doing something, the better you get at it. This was not true for me when it came to calculus, and I spent three semesters getting C's despite doing an increasing amount of homework. I thought this was an anomaly in the system.

Well, I've done found the other anomaly.

When I was a mere level 3 summoner, I ventured into my first 'real' game against real players, and, while a pulse-pounding adrenaline rush, turned out to be not as terrifying as I thought. I could actually win playing against real people!

Now, at level 11, I've had a string of horrible defeats.

The thing about losing at games is that apparently there's some part of my brain that has this equation:

Winning ==  good.
Good ==happy
Happy == self worth.

Break any of this chain, and the 'self worth' bit comes into question.

The thing is, I don't know if I actually suck or just have bad luck.

Does it matter? If I was any good I should be able to overcome any amount of bad luck, right?

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