State of the Waiting

I like knowing where I'm going.

I spent 6 years of my life pursuing a Bachelor's. Now I have one, and I hope my next step is getting a Ph.D. But that part isn't set at all. It's not determined at all yet that I will be doing that.

I've done my bit. I submitted applications to five schools. I've heard back from three, all negative. I should be hearing from the other two soon; otherwise they'll be getting an inquiry from me. But I don't know what I'll be doing in August. Will I be happily preparing to settle into being a graduate student and put off the real world for another four to six years, or will I be frantically trying to get gainfully employed and/or figure out how to get into a career?

I don't like these Schrodinger's cat-like times; I may be going to graduate school, or I may not, but until I hear from those last two schools, I won't know how that particular waveform of probability will collapse.

I don't like being in an indeterminate state. And now, there is nothing I can do but wait for it to collapse on it's own.

So I wait.