The Journey, a Poem

Please note that I am open to comments or suggestions concerning my poetry. I'm hardly a professional.

The Journey

Some think that living is made of starts, some when your goals are done;
It’s the glow of a bud, it’s the flush of a win, it’s the burn of a falling sun;

But I think the living is in the path, in what lies over yonder hill:
It ain’t the mountains you have climbed, it’s the ones you’re climbing still.

It’s that moment afloat in time, the space between death and life,
It’s the joy of the chase, it’s the scent of the kill, it’s the moment of the strife;
When the war ain’t over yet, and you’ve got naught but your will,
It ain’t the battles you have won, it’s the ones you’re fighting still.

It’s that moment before the prize, it’s the chasing of a dream;
It’s the fall of a star, it’s the rise of a soul, it’s the fight of a scream;

Before the end of everything, before your visions are fulfilled;
It ain’t the road you’ve traveled by, it’s the ones you’re traveling still.

12:16pm 7/30/11

Interview with Counting Pennies

Recently, a friend of mine has decided to go public with her blog. I asked to interview her as a way of introducing her blog to my readers. Her blog is at Counting Pennies. Check it out!

Bacon & Betelgeuse: Why Counting Pennies?

onelovingsister: Let's see. I have a thing about pennies. My boyfriend and I would always exchange pennies. Kinda random. Anyways, I was thinking I would probably be doing a lot of waiting in the next few years....and you know how when you're trying to make time pass....like to go to sleep or whatever you start counting things? Like counting sheep? Except pennies instead. :) My mom suggested it actually and that's why I decided to go with it.

B&B: Describe yourself; who do you think of yourself as. what is your self identity?

onelovingsister: I am a girl who has a lot of dreams and a lot of potential. What I want and what others want for me rarely line up. Sometimes I feel I lose myself in the struggle to be what I SHOULD be according to everybody else and what I WANT to be when the day is done. I love to write poetry, but I'm not that good at it. I love cooking and kids and best friends. Math is one of the things that keeps me going every day....math...and my mom. That is my biggest goal in life. To be a mother, but we shall see. I would say the single most defining aspect of my character is my faith. Jesus is the single most important person in my life and I hope to keep it that way. Always. Also, I am a hopeless romantic and I am in love.

B&B: Why did you decide to start a blog?

onelovingsister: Last fall, when my bf transferred schools and subsequently broke up with me, I found myself really struggling, emotionally, academically, even physically, to cope with my feelings. I spent a lot of time very very depressed. My grades started to suffer and I ended up needing to spend a lot of time talking to some close friends, my mom, and one of my professors. I realized that, for me, verbalizing how I felt helped me work through my feelings, a little bit at a time. I posted my stuff on Facebook at first, but then I felt a little bit uncomfortable with that because many of my posts were pretty personal. That's when I decided to start a blog. It's my own little place to bare my heart to the world.

B&B: Speaking of personal, why have you recently decided to make your blog public?

onelovingsister: I don't really know. I'm still not ready to have it on Facebook. I guess I just feel like it's time to...hmmm...move on? Perhaps that's not quite the right way to put it. As I mentioned earlier, this whole blog thing stemmed from personal issues I was dealing with. I guess I had always thought they were sort of short term issues? Things I would get over pretty quickly. That I would be able to resume my "normal" life soon. Well, I've come to realize it's not going to be like that. I'm in love and I'm waiting and I think I'm going to be doing that for quite a long time and it's okay to acknowledge that and accept that and share that. It's not something I need to cover up or hide from everybody or be ashamed of. It's just how it is. Yes, most of my friends think I'm stupid and crazy and I completely understand where they are coming from, but this is something I feel God is calling me to. So I guess I'm just ready to open up a little bit. Besides, I like to share. :)

B&B: What do you do when you're not writing?

onelovingsister: Ahhh....now that's easy. When I'm not writing, I am working or sleeping or eating or cooking or working out. :) Work consists of studying for school, doing math research, or lifeguarding at my school's pool. I usually do not get enough sleep. I generally eat to much. I love to cook and bake, but only for other people. I do not like to make food for myself. I love to turbo kick (you should try it!) and actually recently got certified as an instructor. I also love swimming. Sunshine and water make me happy. :) However, my number one favorite thing to do when not writing is going to the beach with my friends and family. I love to hang out with the people I love and the beach just can't be beat. :D

B&B: Anything you'd like to add, or any questions you would like to be asked?

onelovingsister: I would like to add that you are one of the reasons I first considered blogging as my "outlet" and that I really enjoy reading your non-gaming related blog posts. :) Oh! And readers should never hesitate to comment! Even when my posts seem pretty personal or sensitive or whatever. Comments are fun.

B&B: Well, I've run out of questions. Pleasure interviewing you, and may your blog receive many hits!

onelovingsister: haha. thanks! :D

Well, there you have it. Check out the blog at Counting Pennies and see for yourself.

P.S. If any of you other blog writers want to be interviewed for this blog, either post in the comments or email me at baconnbetelgeuse@gmail.com

Playing Games at Playing God

If you've watched any number of movies or read any number of books, you're bound to run across this situation. The good guy has a chance to kill the bad guy, thereby saving any number of innocent lives and millions in property damages and says something to the effect of, "I will not kill this Evil Bad Guy, Slaughterer of Cities and Eater of Babies, because I am not God, and it is not up to me to decide whether this man lives or dies."

That is bullcrap.

So maybe the good guy isn't supposed to shoot Mr. Evil Bad Guy in the brainpan and eliminate the need for seventeen sequels, but the whole "I-am-not-God-I-don't-make-this-choice" is complete horsepucky and an insufficient excuse for not saving all those innocent lives from serving as Mr. Evil Bad Guy's cannon fodder.

We are God every day of our lives. Every day, we choose to not stab those closest to us. We choose to not run over that stupid jaywalking pedestrian who chooses to cross the road directly in front of us. We choose to not walk into our place of school or work and blow up the place. In the last case, it may be due to a lack of access to explosives but the other two situations are easily encounterable. While we may be horrified by the thought of plowing over said stupid pedestrian, it doesn't mean the power over someone's life did not rest in our hands in that moment of time.

We do play God to other people. We just tend to choose that they should live--to play the gods of good. Sure, there are consequences in this society to choosing that they should die, but if we did make said choice, the target of our decision would still be dead, and we would have chosen death for that person.

Psychos and other murderers and abusers are those who choose to play the gods of evil.

But we're all gods. At least, when it comes to life and death and other people.

The Point of Vampires, and Why Twilight Fails

Vampires appear to be one of the favoritest, sexiest, and most mimicked monsters to haunt modern culture. We can buy books by any nineteen billion authors at the local bookstore, all with their own variations and spins on the vampire myth. We can watch TV shows, usually showing some vampire we can get really empathetic with. We can watch shiny, big-budget movies in the theaters with really spectacular special effects. We can dress like them. We can get together with other people and pretend to be vampires in roleplaying sessions. We have this fascination and desire, on some level, to be like these nonhuman, monster-souled, undead creatures that like to nom humans, usually in grisly and spectacular fashion.

And then there's Twilight.

When Twilight first infiltrated mainstream teenage female culture under the guise of sex for little girls a romance novel, most people, myself included, completely failed to notice it. Other people did, however, and after the first movie came out I went with some friends to the dollar theater to see what the fuss was about.

I really wish I hadn’t.

I could rant at length about the absurdness of immortals who would willingly keep going to high school, or Edward’s stupid “you can’t love me because I’m awesome” speech, or the fact that the villains are so much cooler than the good guys, or the fact that Bella is a complete frigging idiot who shouldn’t be trusted to write the alphabet in correct order. But it really comes down to this: Real vampires don’t sparkle.

I could (possibly) get past the sparkly skin if it wasn’t for the fact that the author of Twilight seemed to rather miss the whole point of vampires.

Or points, rather.

Vampires have evolved through a series of roles over time as humanity has been able to approach and find new ways to deal with the inner monster. In the beginning, i.e. Dracula, the monster is something that exists outside of us and seeks to corrupt the weak without needing permission to do so. Over time though, more and more protagonists have been turned into vampires, and we are allowed to acknowledge the price of success (immortality, super strength, etc) at the cost of our humanity and our ability to walk in the light of day.

There can be good vampires. If you’re going to be a good vampire, though, it’s going to be hard. You’re still going to want to nom humans, and, depending on who is writing, animal blood may not be sufficient. Even if it is, it isn’t enough. Hunger is the main driving force in a vampire’s existence, and to have the self-control to say no to that hunger is a major element of a good vampire’s existence. Plus, the older the vampire becomes, the more likely it will be harder for said vampire to connect to their past existence, and then to humanity, making it easier to get all egotistical and superiority-complexed when it comes to humans. It seems as though many good vampires romanticize being human, forgetting that humans can be complete bastards all on their own without supernatural assistance, just like those of us who don't consider ourselves normal envy those who are until we realize they're completely boring.

I suspect vampires are easy to emphasize with because most of us are able to acknowledge the inner monster that lurks inside of each of us. We’ve been rejected through no fault of our own or unable to associate with normal humans. There are thoughts that slither through the dark corners and alleyways of our minds that evaporate in the sunlight.

Twilight’s vampires are monsters who are unable to acknowledge that they are monsters. Just like some people are unable to see the monster lurking inside of them. The whole series is a fantasy of becoming the monster—without realizing it is a monster they seek to become.

Or, as has been said...

P.S. Apparently, Mozilla Firefox won't let me make posts anymore, but Internet Explorer will. It's a shame, because I like Firefox. *Sigh* Hi, Internet Explorer, longtimenosee. I have a favor to ask...

Physically Speaking

Long time no see, hopeful readers of this blog.

I've heard people disparaging manual labor--a lot of them college students. As if breaking your back to work in the out-of-doors is somehow reserved for peasants. Although I'm sure many college degrees are required for some hard laboring in the out of doors (I've applied for a few). Probably due to the fact that as a kid my dad made money doing hard, manual labor (and as a result, those were the first jobs I did), it completely fails to hold the same terror for me as it apparently does for a lot of these snobby, soft-handed snobs college students and others who never had to dig a hole for pay in their lives.

Honestly, there are worse things in life. Dishwashing comes to mind. Actually, there are things worse than dishwashing.

I've spent the last two months since getting done gradumacated and guess what? It's a really bad time to be an ex-student. At least as a student I could get jobs at the college and I was on financial aid to batter back the really expensive expenses that come with being an adult. As an ex-student, though, all I have is a shiny degree which seems to have the same effect as scooping a cup of water out of the ocean. Less, even, because now I'm actually overqualified for stuff now.

So guess what? I'm digging holes. Yes, it's a one-time thing. But for the first time in a few years I was actually engaging in hard, sweaty, dirty work.

I forgot how much I -- enjoyed isn't really the correct word, but in the absence of others, it will do --it. The burn of muscles as I slam a pickaxe into ground that has more in common with basalt flows than dirt and the cheer of accomplishment from the voices in my head as another tree is set properly into place.

But the cool thing is, while your body is creating a finished masterpiece of yardwork or whatever, your mind can be off gallivanting and thinking. And thinking. And plotting. And scheming. 


It can really be quite stimulating, when you get down to it.

An unfortunate side effect seems to be every bit of my body aching in new and interesting ways, but it can suck it.

A Year of Blogging

So it's been a year (and two days) since I finally decided to alleviate my boredom during my summer internship by vomiting the contents of my head out onto the web via a blog page for the whole wide world to see.

Happy birthday, Bacon & Betelgeuse!

Happy Independence Day!

...what the title says. To all of my American readers; otherwise just have a good day!

I hope that everyone finds the freedom to be themselves, and hope that the 'themselves' are generally good people and do not have conniving hearts of darkness and evil...

Because if you do have the conniving heart of evil and darkness you do not deserve to be free...

Here are some patriotic kitties!

I Win!

I entered an online contest on the LoL forums to win an Explorer Ezrael skin. Here is one of the shots I entered:

And I won! I win at something! Woohoo. I will have to try more of these contests in the future.

And this is what I won: