Friday, August 28, 2015

Things I Would Do If I Were Some Sort of All-Powerful Deity

  1. Randomly write in the sky, "Hi! I'm up here and I have lighting bolts!!!", complete with the exclamation points.
  2. Utilize the "three strikes" rule on things that annoy me (or are evil), using two lightning bolts and a meteor strike. Then I would mix up the order randomly.
  3. Plant Nokia phones in Cambrian rock layers.
  4. Bring back dinosaurs from extinction. Brontosauruses in particular. 
  5. Make a rock just slightly too heavy for me to lift, but make it the size of a normal rock. Then I would call over a random human and have them help me lift the rock.
  6. I wouldn't accept worship, but I'd accept offerings of tiramisu and coffee.
  7. Randomly create dragons.
  8. Give humans immunity to dragonfire. Until I deem otherwise.
  9. Flumphs would be a thing.
  10. Fly.